Shattered Star
by timecake
Summary: Tommy's gone, Sadie hates her and she's got writers block. Jude Harrison's life is already a mess and when a few faces from the past turn up ... it get's a lot worse
1. Prolonged Pain

Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills E.T.C, I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics

Author's Note:- Hey guys don't worry I haven't given up on my other fic, I've just got a major case of writer's block when it comes to that fic. The idea for this fic struck me last week and has been nagging at me ever since so here it is ENJOY

Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in **_bold italics _**

And lyrics have o0o's before and after them

Passages from Jude's journal are written in _italics_

**I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION**

**THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!**

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Mayhem reigned on the new G Major tour bus as the SME boys were making the most of their last night on tour by having a revolting food fight.

They were lobbing raw eggs, stale bread, sour milk, ketchup, maple syrup, mouldy cheese, leftover sushi and other nauseating out of date food items at each other .

Jude sat in the middle of the chaos in silence staring out the window with her new journal propped up in front of her, she clicked the pen a few times and ran her fingers over the writing on the first page "Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us" she murmured before turning the page and began writing :

_So as it turns out you can't base everything on Joey Ramone lyrics because even Ramone couldn't have put into song the rollercoaster that has been my life the last few months_

_. First of all Tommy took off without so much as a goodbye causing me to go into complete meltdown mode and ditch my album release party and follow Mason down to Berry where I got insanely drunk with this random guy. _

_The only thing I remember is performing _There's Us_, downing multiple vodka shots and waking up in Mason's hotel room with Jamie banging at the door. _

_I got back to G Major expecting Darius to throw a major hissy fit and kick me out on my butt or something, well he threw a mini Darius-esque paroxysm right before he told me that _My Sweet Time _had reached #1._

_Naturally enough all my woes disappeared for a few hours as I floated about in a bubble of beatific euphoria at gaining my coveted #1 spot just one day after my album hit the shelves._

_However I was brought crashing back down to earth when I realised that there was one person who should have been standing beside me being just as deliriously happy as I was, that wasn't._

_I locked myself away from the world and stayed in my bedroom for two whole days racking my brains trying to find a plausible explanation for Tommy leaving like that but none came and I sank deeper into my chasm of depression. _

_Then Darius threw me a life buoy, a way to escape all my problems and take my mind off all of the drama. A tour promoting my new album. _

_So he bought a new tour bus and sent me and SME on a cross-country trek for two months. _

_I blocked all my feelings out and focused on singing my songs and trying to write new ones . It did me the world of good and it made me realise that life does go on without Tom Quincy. _

_I couldn't give a damn where that jerk is now and I really couldn't care less if he never shows his face again. _

_I'm hoping that Darius and Liam will let Kwest be my producer from now on so I can put all the bad stuff behind me and wipe the slate clean and start afresh on my Junior album._

_Though I haven't been able to write a single new song since he took off. Please let this writers block end once I get home and get settled back into my life. _

_But my life won't be the same will it?. There's this evil voice at the back of my mind , spitefully whispering all my doubts, reinforcing them. I try to shut it out but it won't go away. God I hate him so much for doing this to me. He's turned me into a gibbering wreck, unsure of everything I've ever known._

_If only my music would come back to me then at least I'd have a glimmer of my old self to hang onto but I don't. Its like I've morphed into a different Jude, a Jude that can't put her feelings into words. No I'm still me and I just need to get back on track and I'll be fine and Lil' Tommy Q can take a short walk off a cliff for all I care. _

Jude snapped her journal and slipped it into her bag. She stared out of the window deeply lost in her thoughts when she was brought crashing back to reality by an egg colliding with the side of her face. Speed, Wally and Kyle exchanged glances of suppressed mirth as Jude slowly wiped the egg from her face and turned to the guys with an wicked expression on her face "One word guys".

Speed laughed nervously "Heh ……. Run?". Jude smiled "Oh Yeah". Pandemonium erupted as they all resumed the food fight. Jude flinging leftover sushi, Speed squirting maple syrup, Wally lobbing raw eggs and Kyle firing a disgusting mush of stale bread, mouldy cheese and sour milk.

The fight continued all night and into the early hours of the morning. Wally and Kyle had exhausted themselves and they were lying fast asleep in their bunks.

Jude was lying on her bunk staring at the ceiling wide awake. Speed came over munching on a bag of Extra Spicy Jalapeño peppers flavoured chips, sat at the foot of Jude's bunk and offered her some. Jude sat up and shook her head "How can you eat after the nauseating food fight we just had" she asked smiling.

Speed shrugged "I'm a guy, we can stomach many things, its in the genes". Jude raised her eyebrows "Yeah" and flopped back onto her bunk and resumed staring at the ceiling. Speed pocketed the chips and stretched out on the bunk beside her "So Instant Star, written anything new for your junior album?". Jude sighed "No". Speed looked at her in puzzlement "But you were scribbling away in your journal earlier and I thought you were churning out some bona fide Jude Harrison libretto".

Jude looked at him perplexed "Libretto?". Speed rolled his eyes "Opera lyrics, God dude did you actually retain any knowledge in Music last semester?". Jude whacked him with her pillow "Shut up". Speed responded by shoving a pillow in he face.

They ended up starting a mini pillow thrashing war until they were covered in bits of pillow filling and fluff. Jude was laughing her head off at the sight of Speed literally spitting feathers when he looked out the window "DUDES WE'RE HOME" and proceeded to jump to and fro between Wally's and Kyle's bunks. Jude peeked out the window as they pulled into the parking lot of G Major and sighed a mixture of sadness and resentment as she grabbed her backpack and guitar case.

She made her way to the door at a snails pace, taking each step little by little. When she got to the door, Jude took a deep steadying breath steeling herself before she threw herself back into the shark tank that was her life. Jude bit her lip nervously knowing that she could prolong it no longer since SME were growing pretty restless behind her and pushed the door open.

Dad, Sadie, Jamie, Kwest, Patsy, Liam, Darius and Portia were all outside with stupid silly grins plastered all over their faces. Well Liam had his usual tough-guy-don't-mess-with-me smirk/scowl, Darius with his uber hip-hop record company smoothness made even the stupidest grin look cool and well Patsy had her version of a grin on her face which was a mixture of a scowl and a pained smile.

Jude was hugged to death in turn from Dad, Sadie, Jamie, Kwest and Portia, Got a welcome home high-five from Patsy and handshakes from Liam and Darius. Jude felt like her jaw was going to break from all the forced smiling she was doing.

Even though she was surrounded by people who cared about her Jude had never felt so alone and all she wanted to do was jump back on the bus and go anywhere but here. Portia swung an arm around her shoulders "Sweetie we need to talk schedules".

Jude feigned a smile of interest and shrugged her shoulders "I'm all yours" , Portia took a clipboard from Sadie and consulted it "We're shooting a batch of new videos for your second album so that'll take a few weeks and I know you just want to get back in the studio and work on your Junior album but we're sliding your third album on the back burner for now".

They were now inside G Major and had reached Sadie's desk, Portia tossed the clipboard to Sadie "Sadie talk her through the rest of her schedule while I confer with Liam about the charity event".

Sadie nodded and smiled dutifully until Portia had disappeared into Liam's office then she pulled a face and stuck out her tongue "I swear I'm gonna kill her one of these days". Jude raised her eyebrows questionably. Sadie rolled her eyes "She got Tommy's old position of Vice President after you guys went on tour and she has been lording it up ever since".

Jude poked Sadie playfully "Lay off her Sadie, I'm sure she's just adjusting". Sadie rolled her eyes again "I bloody well hope so because if this bossy version of Portia sticks around I will not be blamed for my actions" Jude chuckled and pointedly indicated the clip board. "Okay well you've got all morning free until 11am, then you have a couple of interviews about the success of your second album, a quick performance of White Lines, then next you have hair, make-up and wardrobe fitting for tomorrow nights Instant Star 3 final, after that rehearsal with SME for the final, you'll be performing a cover that Darius will choose for you later today"

Sadie handed her a sheet which echoed all the info she had just bombed her with and much much more. Jude stared at the lengthy itinerary in front of her in shock "Um Sadie since when did the label want to kill me by exhaustion and total brain meltage?".

Sadie had her head in a filing cabinet sorting out various record documents and spreadsheets so her reply was muffled "Ha Ha very funny Jude". She resurfaced with what looked like the cause for deforestation in the Amazon heaped in her arms.

"Quit complaining and go amuse yourself until it's time for your interviews". Jude perched on the edge of the desk "I was hoping that we could grab a bite to eat at Café Venezicia together my treat?". Sadie nudged her off the desk with her elbow and dumped the sheaf papers onto the desktop and shot her sister a death glare "Jude I barely have time to bloody breathe let alone spend quality time with my rock star sibling".

Jude held her hands up "Okay backing away slowly". Jude grabbed her guitar and made her way to Studio Three but on the way she overheard an argument coming from Liam's office. "Damn it Portia, You need to tell her!" Jude recognised Liam's voice and he didn't sound happy and Portia's stubborn retort "I haven't even told Darius yet and I think he'll blow his top more than Jude about this".

Jude pressed her ear to the door in an effort to hear more. "Yes Darius will be angry but he can be calmed, Jude on the other hand might go completely off the rails when she hears this" Liam's voice was growing angrier with every syllable.

"Jude?", Jude nearly jumped right out of her skin and turned to see Kwest standing behind her "What exactly are you doing Jude?" he questioned, a smile playing around his mouth". Jude punched him on the arm "Don't, you almost gave me a heart attack".

Kwest pulled her away from the door "Well that's the ultimate fate of eavesdroppers". "Very funny Kwest" Jude strained her ears to hear the rest of the conversation but Kwest snapped his fingers drawing her attention away from the argument "Hey I'm free if you wanna go over some of the songs you wrote on tour in the studio?".

Jude sighed dejectedly "I haven't written any new songs". Kwest smiled sympathetically "Don't look so worried, writers block on tour is common, we can just rehearse White Lines instead". Kwest went into Studio One and began setting up. Jude followed him "Why do I have to perform White Lines?",

Jude really didn't want to perform any of her songs that she had written with Tommy but especially White Lines because she wrote it about him and just thinking about performing it hurt. Kwest gave her a quizzical look "Didn't you even read a magazine while you were on tour? White Lines has been number 1 on the Toronto Charts for three weeks now".

Jude's jaw dropped and she stared at Kwest gob smacked. Kwest chuckled "Lift your jaw Harrison" and he went into the engineers booth. Jude popped the headphones on as the opening of White Lines filled the studio. Kwest leaned back in the chair as she began singing, studying her closely.

Darius came in and took a seat in the chair beside him "How is she?". Kwest took a moment before answering "She seems okay but I don't know something's different man".

Darius looked at Jude as she sang "I thought going on tour would help her but I think it just prolonged her facing up to her problems" Darius sighed "She's got bigger problems than T leaving Kwest and she doesn't even know". Kwest listened intently as Darius explained the true extent of the mess Jude was in "Jesus Christ man, How the hell are we going to fix this?".

Darius looked at Jude again "I honestly don't know" .

Jude was halfway through singing White Lines but suddenly a memory struck her. Tommy's face swam to the surface of her mind, Recollections of them recording White Lines reverberated around her mind and it hurt so much. Jude couldn't take it and ripped the headphones off and ran out of the studio with Kwest calling after her.

She flew past a shocked Speed, Wally and Kyle and halted at the reception desk and barked at Sadie "I need your car keys!".

Sadie looked concerned at her erratic behaviour "Jude wha-". Jude cut her off "SADIE JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN KEYS" before ripping the keys from Sadie's hand and shooting out the door leaving Sadie, Speed, Wally, Kyle and the rest of G Major opened-mouthed in her wake.

Kwest and Darius burst out of Studio One and before they could even draw breath Sadie rounded on them. "What the hell happened?" Sadie's eyes flashed anger and Speed sensing her seething-ness stepped in "Look dudes, Jude just shot out of here clearly bugging about something so as Sadie just expressively enquired, what's the deal?". "

We were just rehearsing White Lines when she just lost it" Kwest himself knew why she lost it, that song was about Tommy and he had argued for three days straight with Portia about Jude singing it because he knew that part of her was still too raw, her love for him was still there but it was battered and bruised and Kwest knew that her singing White Lines would crumble whatever protective resolve she had built while on tour but Portia was adamant that she sung it and since Tommy had sworn him to secrecy on pain of death when he told him about White Lines, he begrudgingly let her rehearse it and this was the consequence.

Darius went off to fetch Liam and Sadie began ringing Jude's cell but as expected she didn't answer. Kwest took Speed aside "Look man, how was she on tour?".

Speed sighed looking crestfallen "Yeah she was her normal Jude self when she was performing, doing interviews and smiling for the camera's but it was all forced, as soon as she got back on the bus or her room the mask just fell away and it showed the broken-hearted remains of the girl she used to be"

Speed's face was tense with anger "And it's all because of some pretty boy producer who conned her into l-l-l…..caring about him".

Even though Kwest was angrier with Tommy than anyone for making such a stuff-up of everything, he felt he had to defend his best friend "Hey that's unfair".

Speed looked at him incredulously "Tell me your not defending him?", Kwest lowered his gaze and his unspoken answer hung in the air. Speed shook his head in disgust and walked away. Portia, Liam and Darius emerged from Liam's office, Portia strode up to Kwest

"Do we have any clue as what set off the diva this time". Sadie snapped her cell shut "Excuse me?" she asked in a quiet deadly voice. Portia smiled unkindly "Well this wouldn't be the first temper tantrum Jude has thrown is it?", Sadie narrowed her eyes "If you like your jaw in its current unbroken state , I'd keep it shut". Portia laughed cruelly "Truth hurts doesn't it Sadie, the truth is your sister behaves like an infantile toddler when she doesn't get her way".

Kwest hooked an arm around Sadie's waist restraining her just incase she decided to claw Portia's eyes out "Be fair Portia, she's had a rough year and Tommy leaving really cut her deep".

Portia threw her hands up in the air "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, that's all anybody ever goes on about when they're talking about Jude and how badly she's handling his leaving, well NEWSFLASH, Jude is turning eighteen this year and she's a big girl".

"Of course she's upset about Tommy leaving, he was her producer and they were really close friends" Sadie folded her arms. Portia looked at Sadie as if she had two heads "Oh come on Sadie, I think we all know it was much more than that".

"What are you talking about?" Sadie looked around the room but no-one would meet her gaze. Comprehension dawned on Sadie as she realised how stupid she had been "No" she whispered backing away from everyone "No Jude wouldn't …. she doesn't …. she can't". "Sadie" Kwest went to put his arms around her but she shoved him away tears forming in her eyes

"And everybody knew …. Everybody except idiotic Sadie who actually thought Tommy loved her not her stupid underage teenage sister" she spat.

Jamie came bursting in through the door and skidded to a halt in front of Sadie "Your house is on fire" he spoke urgently "The fire department has everything under control but they don't think they'll be able to save it, it's pretty bad".

Sadie felt weak at the knees and against Kwest and buried her face in his shoulder. Kwest led her to Hospitality and sat her down and made her a cup of strong tea. Jamie followed "I had to get here and make sure you were okay",

Sadie looked up at him in puzzlement "Why?". Speed, Wally and Kyle came over and plonked themselves down on the floor beside her. Jamie ran a hand through his messy mop of hair "Because your car was parked outside the house when it went up ,I was afraid you were inside and I knew Jude was safe because she has interviews here all day". Kwest dropped the cup he was holding with a deafening shatter and the whole of G Major went silent as they registerd what Jamie had just said.

"Jude" Sadie's face was ashen.


	2. Anarchy Ablaze

Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills E.T.C, I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics

Author's Note:- Hey guys sorry about not updating but you go the second chapter of Shattered Star

Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in **_bold italics _**

And lyrics have o0o's before and after them

Passages from Jude's journal are written in _italics_

**I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION**

**THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!**

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Sadie sprinted down the street adrenaline coursing through her veins. She didn't even stop at the intersection and weaved her way dangerously through the cars.

Her only thought was her baby sister and if she was alive or not. Sadie didn't give one damn if the shocking secret she had just heard about Jude and Tommy was true or not, she had to make sure that she was safe.

She was running so fast that she got there in no time but she was not prepared for the sight that met her eyes. Her childhood home, the house that she and Jude had grown up in and loved was engulfed in a blazing inferno.

Sadie's heart skipped a beat as she realised if Jude was inside the house, there was no possibility that she could still be alive but that didn't stop her . She ran towards the front door but was stopped in her tracks by a tall fire officer "Woah Miss, I'm sorry but this site is a no-go zone".

"It's not a site!, It's my house and my sister might be inside" Sadie pushed past him and ran into the burning building. Smoke assaulted lungs as soon as she got in the door and she struggled to find her way as the room was thick with smoke.

Suddenly a cracking sound pealed out from above Sadie and she dived out of the way just in time a beam from the ceiling fell blocking the front door. Sadie spluttering got to her feet "JUDE!" she yelled as more debris fell from the ceiling. From what she could tell the fire was mainly at the back of the house so Sadie prayed into herself that Jude had decided to crash in her room which was at the front of the house. Sadie clumsily made her way up the stairs choking heavily on the smoke.

By the time she got to Jude's bedroom she could hardly draw breath her lungs felt that raw. Sadie tried to open the door but it was stuck tight. She rammed the door a few times with her shoulder but all that did was zap her energy.

Now she was on all fours barely breathing. Her lungs felt like they were going to burst but the only steady thought Sadie could cling to was 'Jude' and forced herself to get up. She rammed the door one last time and mercifully it splintered open and Sadie was able to kick her way in.

Jude lay passed out on the floor. Sadie's heart jumped into her throat as she saw her motionless sister lying on the floor. She flew to her side and began shaking her "Wake up Jude Wake Up!". The room was dense with smoke and Sadie could barely see or breathe at this point.

She stumbled blindly over to the window and flung it open and hung out "HELP" she screamed "SOMEBODY HELP US PLEASE".

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Kwest pulled up to the burning wreck that was the Harrison house and jumped out of the car with Jamie and SME following in his wake. They stopped for a moment halted by the sight of the house ablaze. Jamie was yelling angrily down his cell

"LOOK THIS IS A FREAKING EMERGENCY YOU IDIOT, HIS BLOODY HOUSE IS ON FIRE AND ONE OF HIS DAUGHTERS MAY WELL BE TRAPPED INSIDE SO YOU DAMN WELL BETTER GET HIM OUT OF HIS MEETING, GOT IT?"

Jamie snapped the cell shut and swore violently "Pompous pen pushers" he muttered before going off to interrogate an important looking fire official .

A passing reporter shoved a microphone into Speed's face "Vincent Spiederman , Member of Spiederman Mind Explosion and Jude Harrison's ex boyfriend, can you confirm reports that Jude is stuck inside her burning house and is thought to be dead ?".

Just as Speed grabbed the guy by the front of his shirt and was about to punch his lights out, A black car pulled up and Liam, Portia and Darius piled out. Liam immediately spotting Speed about to thump a reporter and thus causing imminent bad publicity for himself, Jude and G Major effectively went over and broke up the fight.

"Mr Spiederman I would advise you to let go of this gentleman's gullet or you will see a side of me that is quite unattractive",

Speed looking like he would very much enjoy having the reporter who's face was turning readily purple at the hand of Speed's fist, hung, drawn and quartered let go of his throat.

The reporter crumpled to the ground gasping "Now Mr Spiederman since you have released this journalist's oesophagus, would you please assist Kwest and Mr Andrews in enquiring about the structural damage to this house".

When Speed and Kwest had gone off to join Jamie in pumping the Fire Chief for information, Liam turned to the reporter with an ugly expression on his face "You see this face mate?, This isn't my happy face and if I hear one whisper of this story in the press before the official report is released I'll drop a lawsuit on you so fast that you'll be bankrupt before you even muster up the brainpower to blink, so pass the word on".

The reporter sensed this was a good time to flee since he had now been threatened twice within the space of ten minutes so he ran as fast as his stout legs could carry him. Liam straightened his collar and went over to Portia who was inaudibly barking into her cell phone but shut it once she noticed Liam.

"You didn't have to hang up on my account, since I know perfectly well who you were talking to and what or should I say **who** you were discussing" Liam smiled curtly. Portia paled and pursed her lips "Well if you hadn't nosed around in my personal business, we wouldn't have this problem of you knowing would we?".

Liam chuckled "Well if I hadn't overheard that tense conversation , I wouldn't have snooped and I wouldn't have found out the delectable dirty secret you have been concealing from your big brother and everyone else for that matter".

Before Portia could snap back at him they were interrupted by a shrill scream coming from the second floor of the Harrison House.

"**HELP, SOMEBODY HELP US PLEASE"**

Kwest, Jamie, Speed, Wally, Kyle, Darius, Liam and Portia paled as they realised who was screaming. "SADIE!" bellowed Kwest and he made for the door but two brawny fire officers held him back.

As the fire officers ran around them like headless chickens organising the rescue , They all just stood motionless staring at the blazing inferno and listening to Sadie's screams with their hearts in their throats. Kwest, Jamie Speed, Wally and Kyle were fighting tooth and nail to get into the house.

They caused such a ruckus that the Fire Chief had to call three other fire officers to restrain them "Gentlemen please calm down or you will be removed from the site". Liam pushed the others of the way "We will not calm down until you tell us what the bloody hell you are doing to save the trapped people inside?".

"We cannot send any men inside since the building is too structurally unsafe and we have to wait for back up" the Fire Chief replied simply. Uproar ensued at this comment as Kwest, Jamie and SME all began shouting at once,

Portia dissolved into tears while Darius held her close, his face stony and Liam was talking tactics with a couple of Fire Officers.

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Sadie stopped screaming and slumped against the wall coughing roughly. Her throat felt like she had swallowed sandpaper. Jude was still passed out on the floor and Sadie was desperately trying to conceive a plan for their escape before she fainted out as well. Sadie took a dizzying step towards Jude, deciding their only hope was to climb out the window.

She heaved Jude onto her back with great difficulty. Her breath was coming short and hard, cutting into her throat like knives. Sadie made it to the window and flopped Jude's lifeless form onto the ledge. She clambered over her sister out the window and onto the perilous ridge outside the window.

Down below, chaos was still erupting with Kwest, Jamie and SME fighting like mad to get inside the house. Portia who was sobbing in Darius's arms looked up and screamed "SADIE, JUDE!!". Everyone followed her gaze to where Sadie was standing bent over with Jude on her back, smoke belching out of the window behind her.

Sadie looked down at the crowd below through blurred vision and her legs crumpled beneath her and everything faded to black

Kwest and about ten fire officers surged forwards as Sadie and Jude fell.

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	3. Tragedy and Tears

Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills E.T.C, I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics

Author's Note:- Okay I'm sure you guys soooo hate me right now but I'm not going to give anything away!!

BTW for all those who keep asking if it's a Jommy …. You'll just have to wait and see !!!

Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in **_bold italics _**

And lyrics have o0o's before and after them

Passages from Jude's journal are written in _italics_

**I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION**

**THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!**

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The mood was grim down in the waiting room outside the intensive care of the St Evangeline Hospital as everybody sat on tenterhooks, waiting for any morsel of news about Sadie and Jude's recovery. Stuart Harrison looked as if he were about to collapse, as he dialled his ex-wife's cell phone number for the umpteenth time in the last two hours as he tried in vain to get in contact with her. The air was thick with tension as Kwest, Jamie and SME paced agitatedly.

Darius, Liam and Portia sat in a subdued silence watching them pace. Several more hours passed and no news came. Patsy came into the waiting room and threw her arms around Jamie who dissolved into tears as he sobbed into her shoulder. "Normally I'd punch you for being such a wuss but I think we could all use a good cry" Patsy wiped a tear from her own eye "Hey both those blondies in there are strong, they'll make it through this".

The door to intensive care opened and a female doctor stepped out. Everyone's head snapped up as she closed the door and cleared her throat "Hello I'm Doctor Carlson and I'm in charge of treating Sadie and Jude". "How are they? Kwest asked nervously his voice cracking. She gave them a sympathetic look "I'm sorry I can only speak to the immediate family about their treatment".

Stuart stepped forward "This **is** the immediate family Doctor, We all care deeply for those two girls in there and as their father I'd appreciate if you'd fill us all in". Doctor Carlson nodded and indicated for them to sit down "Fortunately the impact of the fall was minimised by the fire officers effectively catching both girls before they could take the real brunt of the blow, Sadie is recuperating well and should wake up in the next few hours, she will be slightly disoriented and groggy, we will also have to treat her for severe smoke inhalation when she wakes up but with any luck she should make a full recovery".

Kwest's heart leapt when he heard those joyous words and everybody was immensely relieved but their joy turned to anxiety when they clocked Dr Carlson's grave expression. "And Jude?" Speed's voice was thick.

Dr Carlson licked her lips "Jude's brain was starved of oxygen for a substantial amount of time before she exited the house, She is still unconscious at the moment and on a ventilator". Stuart let out a strangled sob, Jamie buried his face in Patsy's shoulder, Wally and Kyle sat down their faces ashen, Portia, Darius and Liam were looking as if a bomb had hit them, Kwest's eyes filled up as he slumped against the wall. Speed was strangely calm "What are her chances?" he asked his expression inscrutable. Dr Carlson stood up "Even if she does wake up, there may be severe brain damage".

Everyone just went to pieces there and then. Stuart went into full breakdown mode and began howling. Jamie was inconsolable and wouldn't even let Patsy come near him. Speed slumped to the floor not saying anything tears rolling down his face, Kyle and Wally were bawling. Portia made some feeble excuse about needing some fresh air and bolted for the door with Liam following her.

As soon as got outside she let out a frustrated scream and began furiously punching in a number into her cell "It's me … Yeah something's happened …. It's pretty serious …. Jude's-". She was cut off as Liam plucked the phone out of her hand and held it to his own ear "Mr Quincy … You have some explaining to do"

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I'm **REALLY** sorry that it's soooo short but I'll update really soon to make up for it !!!!


	4. A Harrowing and Hopeful Homecoming

Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills E.T.C, I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics

Author's Note:- OMG I love writing this fic.

It so takes my mind of the mountain of homework I've got to do.

LOL

And the Christmas shopping I have to do ……..

Anyways ENJOY !!!

Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in **_bold italics _**

And lyrics have o0o's before and after them

Passages from Jude's journal are written in _italics_

**I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION**

**THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!**

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Sadie Harrison's head felt like she had gone fifty rounds with a heavyweight boxing champion and lost badly. She tried to open her eyes but it felt as if they were made of lead.

Sadie felt as though her body was chained down. She couldn't move.

She vaguely caught snatches of conversation but couldn't decipher what they were saying but thought she could recognise a voice "Kwest" she mumbled. Kwest nearly jumped right out of his skin "Sadie!" and rushed to her side. "Hey hey it's okay I'm here" Kwest's voice floated through the fog in Sadie's brain, She fought to open her eyes so she could see his face. Kwest nearly started crying all over again as Sadie's eyes flickered open and he engulfed her in a bone-crunching hug

"Thank God your okay" he murmured into her hair. Sadie was perplexed, she couldn't remember why she was here and what happened to her. Then it all came flooding back. "Where's Jude?" Sadie tried to get up but Kwest pushed her back into the bed a sombre expression on his face. "Kwest you're scaring me … where is she? Is she okay ?". Sadie sat in a stunned daze as Kwest explained to her how bad Jude's situation was. Then she fell into Kwest's arms heaving huge choking sobs as he rocked her, trying to soothe her.

Outside the hospital Portia was seething "You didn't have to chew him out like that, This isn't his fault". Liam threw her cell at her "Believe me I did, He crossed the line, He's seven bloody years older than her". Portia's expression was furious "He doesn't love her". Liam laughed bitterly "Portia you just told Sadie a few hours ago that there was more than friendship between them so don't act all ignorant now".

"He just thinks he loves her" Portia spoke confidently "When you work so closely with someone and have such an intense friendship with them, you can manufacture feelings and emotions that aren't really there". "You keep telling yourself that and maybe you might even believe it" Liam remarked pityingly and turned and walked back into the hospital.

Speed and Jamie sat at Jude's bedside in silence. She looked like an angel lying there, her blonde hair fanned out over the pillow like a halo. The constant beep of the machines that she was wired up to was the only sound that penetrated the relentless silence. Jamie's eyes were red and puffy, Speed on the other hand hadn't shed a single tear in hours.

"Dude she can't die" Jamie lifted his head up at Speed's outburst "She can't leave us here in this dumb stupid world alone without her Jude-ness making us smile everyday". Jamie placed his hand over hers on the bed "I don't want her to die either" he squeezed her hand affectionately "I hope fates on your side Harrison because we need you".

Jamie nearly had a heart attack when he felt her fingers twitch under his own "HOLY HELL" he jumped up as if he had an electric shock". Speed jumped up "What, what? Are you okay?". "Her hand twitched" Jamie didn't even dare to hope that she might be waking up as Speed flew out the door bellowing for a doctor.

"Jude come on you can do it, come back to us"

Sadie's sobs had subsided to throaty sniffs as she lay in Kwest's arms as he stroked her hair comfortingly. "I need her to wake up" Sadie spoke into Kwest's shirt "Even though I hate her right now, I still love her so much and if she dies I honestly don't know if I could deal with it".

Kwest opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a commotion outside. "DUDES WE NEED A DOCTOR SHE'S WAKING UP !!!" Speed barrelled past the door but did a U-turn and stuck his head in the door and roared "HER HAND MOVED SHE MIGHT BE COMING ROUND!!".

Sadie tried to get out of bed but she was still too disorientated and clumsy so she nearly fell over. Kwest pulled her back onto the bed "I'll go see what's going on and if she is waking up I promise I'll come get you". Kwest shot out the door like a bullet leaving Sadie in a momentary daze but as quick as lightening she grabbed her panic button and began neurotically pressing it over and over until a nurse came rushing into the room "Are you okay?".

Sadie gave her a pointed glare "Hm … My baby sister might be waking up from a coma and I'm stuck in this god forsaken bed wired up to masses of machinery ….. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK?? GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!". The pretty red-headed nurse flustered and fumbled with the bed thus increasing Sadie's growing wrath but she managed to get her out of the room and down the hall before Sadie blew her gasket again.

A multitude of people had gathered about Jude's beside. Jamie was still squeezing her hand hoping to get a reaction, Kwest had a grip of the other, Speed was beside him, Wally and Kyle were beside him, Patsy was at Jamie's side and Liam and Darius were at the foot of the bed. And they were joined by a hormonally imbalanced Sadie who was wheeled in by a pretty petite red-headed harassed looking nurse.

Portia was sitting outside the hospital oblivious to what was going on. She kept staring agitatedly at her watch and peering down the road. Eventually a black hummer roared up beside her. She stomped over to the window "You took your time Tom".

The door opened and Tommy stepped out "Yeah well I was kinda dreading Liam ripping my guts out for what did he call it? Oh yeah 'Crossing the bloody proverbial professional line'" Tommy took off his sunglasses and faltered before bringing himself to ask "How is she?" .

Portia bit her lip "She's in a deep coma and even if she wakes up …". Tommy grabbed her by the shoulder "What Portia". Portia wouldn't meet his eyes "Even if she wakes up she might have brain damage". Tommy blanched "Oh My God … I need to see her".

Portia folded her arms "No way Sadie will eradicate you on the spot" Tommy looked at her curiously, Portia avoided his gaze once again "Sadie knows that you and Jude's relationship isn't exactly …..platonic". Tommy clenched his teeth "Perfect … Just Perfect".

Portia peered into the Hummer "Is she with you?". "Yeah she's sleeping in the back, here's the keys and take her back to my apartment" Tommy tossed Portia the keys "What are you going to do?" she asked.

Tommy turned to look at her "I'm going to see my girl"


	5. GreenEyed Monster

Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills E.T.C, I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics

Author's Note:- Heres the next update and I'm really sorry for being so evil mwuhahahaha in the last chapters but just think, its only going to get better (maybe) !!!

Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in **_bold italics _**

And lyrics have o0o's before and after them

Passages from Jude's journal are written in _italics_

**I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION**

**THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!**

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Tommy turned to walk away from Portia but was halted by a stone bouncing off his head. "What the hell?" He turned to see Portia with a desperately incensed expression on her face "You can't love her Tom, she's freaking seventeen years old for god's sake!".

Tommy sucked in his breath "Portia you don't understand". Portia grabbed him by the arm "Your right I don't understand how you could be so stupid to let yourself get into this mess, you're putting your career on the line for a stupid fling with an equally as stupid kid"

Tommy yanked his arm away "I can't do anything to change my feelings so just drop it Portia".

Portia folded her arms "You may not be able to change your feelings for her but you can do the smart thing".

"And what would that be" asked Tommy. Portia smiled vindictively "Disappear". Tommy looked at her as if she were crazy "What?". Portia cocked her head "They all think your gone and they don't have a clue where you're at, so just vanish now and they will be none the wiser".

Tommy laughed "Portia, I came back here to make things right, You think I'm gonna go away just because you can't handle that I have feelings for Jude, get over yourself" He turned and walked away towards the hospital steps. Portia clicked her tongue "If that's the way you want it Tom but here's a little incentive to see things my way".

Tommy turned around to see Portia producing a manila envelope out of her dark leather slouch bag "Okay I am supposed to know what this means?" he asked exasperatedly. Portia chucked the envelope at him "Look inside". Tommy opened the envelope and studied the contents inside.

Portia watched as the fury welled up inside Tommy as he flicked through every picture and last of all the note "I'm gonna kill the punk who did this!" he spat "When did this happen? How did this happen?".

Portia chuckled maliciously and swiped the envelope and it's contents off him "It happened the night of her album release party, she went completely schizophrenic and legged it down to Berry after Mason and did God knows what with God knows who which resulted in this pictures"

Tommy stepped forward "Portia give me the envelope". Portia raised her eyebrows nastily and put the envelope back in the bag "They came the day after Jude left to go on tour, I promptly paid the guy his $50,000 dollars and he destroyed his copies and the negatives but I held onto these just in case".

Tommy was speechless with rage as he realised to what depths Portia has sunk to. Portia continued thoroughly enjoying herself "Either you take my advice and evaporate into thin air or I go to the papers with these which could spell the end for little Judie's star-studded career, What will it be Tommy?". Tommy nodded dejectedly "Okay I'll go but what about Ally? What are we gonna do about you visiting her and stuff?".

"Take her with you and send me the necessary papers to sign custody over to you" Portia's unfathomable expression infuriated Tommy "She is your daughter, you can't cut yourself off from her again, not when we have this second chance to be good parents to her . "Darius can't find out about this or really might just kill you this time" Portia said stonily.

Tommy rolled his eyes "Look I know D went off the deep end when he found out about us getting married and then divorced-". Portia cut him off "Off the deep end? Tommy he went at you with a carving knife with every intention of murdering you". Portia shook her head "It's what's best for everyone if they never find out". Tommy looked at her disgustedly "So you're going to pretend that your little girl doesn't exist?".

"I never wanted her in the first place" Portia burst out shocking Tommy "She was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made in my life and I wish she didn't exist okay" Portia ran off tears streaming down her face.

Tommy stood there speechless at Portia's sudden confession when a small voice penetrated his daze "Daddy?". He rushed to the car where his three year old daughter was wide awake "Hey sweetie daddy's here".

Ally threw her arms around Tommy's neck giggling "Hi daddy, I had the funnest dream ever". Tommy kissed her on the top of her head and ruffled her curls "Did you?".

She nodded her brown ringlets bouncing "I dreamed that you and me were sitting in this big meadow with really pretty flowers and we played lotsa fun games like tag and then we had the yummiest picnic in the world".

Tommy scooped up his daughter and deposited her chuckling onto the front seat "That sounded like so much fun but sweetie daddy has to pop into the hospital to see a friend so you just sit tight here and wait until daddy comes back okay?".

Ally nodded sucking on her thumb "Can I listen to some music?" she asked. Tommy tried to turn on the radio but it was bust. He had no cds in the car so he searched through his jacket. His hands closed on two cds, Jude's cds. Tommy hesitated before handing them to Ally.

She took them and studied the covers "That girl's really pretty daddy". Tommy smiled meekly "Yeah she is" he whispered softly as he helped Ally set up her walkman.

He really didn't want to leave her alone but he felt that he had no other choice as he went to move away from the car, Kwest burst out of the hospital door's looking around wildly. Tommy ducked behind the Hummer not wanting his best friend to see him and jeopardise his escape.

Tommy sat frozen behind the car as Kwest inched closer and closer to discovering him and blowing his cover.

Unbeknownst to him Kwest had his finger on the trigger of destroying Jude's career.

If he discovered Tommy and blew his secret out of the water, Portia would go off the deep end and show the pictures to the press.

Tommy silently prayed to God to help him as Kwest's footsteps sounded closer and closer

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	6. One Faithful Friend and a Foul Foe

Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills ETC,

I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics

Author's Note:- UGH EXAMS BUG ME !!! I'm supposed to be revising in this free period but I've fried my brain all week with studying so I thought I'd get to work on the next update.

Writing is my only outlet and according to my English teacher, I write really good essays when I'm stressed out.

Well right now my stress levels are sky high so I should write one hell of a chapter

Tell me in your reviews if I work well when I'm stressed ………

Anyways enough babbling ENJOY

Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in **_bold italics _**

And lyrics have o0o's before and after them

Passages from Jude's journal are written in _italics_

**I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION**

**THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!**

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Kwest clicked his tongue impatiently as he waited for Portia to pick up her cell. 'I should be up there supporting Sadie but no I have to play errand boy and go find Portia'. He swore under his breath when it clicked onto voicemail "Portia it's Kwest, Jude might be waking up and Darius will be baying for my blood if you don't get here right now".

He snapped the cell shut and kicked a trash can angrily "Jesus bloody Christ this is messed up" He angrily sat down on a grass embankment beside the parking lot "Tommy you better have one hell of an explanation for this mess you've created".

Tommy's heart sunk 'He thinks it's my fault' he thought miserably 'It **is** my fault'. Tommy realised he couldn't go away without seeing her one last time so he took a deep steadying breath and stepped out from behind the car.

Kwest had his face in his hands so he nearly had a heart attack when Tommy spoke "It depends on what your definition of a good explanation is". Kwest jumped up looking furious "I honestly don't know whether to hug you or hit you".

Tommy shrugged "I'd rather you hit me, then I might be knocked unconscious and not aware of what's happening". Kwest shook his head "Trust me you'll be worse off when Sadie gets through with you". "Yeah Portia told me about what happened".

Kwest's eyes narrowed "Did she tell you that she was the one who told Sadie?". Tommy really wanted to strangle Portia at that moment "She what?" he said through gritted teeth. Kwest sat down again and Tommy joined him.

"You broke her heart Tom" Kwest said bluntly "I thought you cared about her, then you go pull a stunt like that". Tommy hung his head "I do care about her I care about her so much that it scares me". Kwest gave a derisive snort "You've got a funny way of showing it".

Tommy bit his lip "There's more to it than you think". Kwest's expression changed from fury to disbelief as Tommy explained everything "A year before I met Jude, I was sitting in a bar in Brooklyn and I ran into Portia for the first time since the divorce and we reminisced about old times over lots of vodka and well to cut a long story short, we woke the next morning with more than a hangover, we both agreed it would be a one-off but a few months later Portia found out she was pregnant with Ally, the rest is pretty much history".

Kwest rubbed his temples "So how exactly did you keep a secret daughter hidden away?".

Tommy's expression hardened "You remember my sister Becca? Her and her husband John couldn't have kids so they adopted Ally, Portia and I agreed on no contact whatsoever which suited Portia fine since she didn't want Darius finding out but it killed me leaving my little girl, I went about for a year in a depressed daze until I met Jude"

Tommy sighed "Meeting her changed my life, I was happy again, I had a reason to keep going but then-", "Then you fell for her and things got way complicated" Kwest finished his sentence miserably. Tommy sighed again "Complicated is a good way of phrasing it but you know what I wouldn't trade a second of it".

Kwest's head snapped up "Jesus man you really love her don't you?". Tommy smiled despondently "I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in my life". "I've heard that from you before" Kwest stood up.

Tommy rolled his eyes "Gimme a break, I was eighteen and stupid and anyways I love Jude more than I ever loved Portia, heck what me and Portia had wasn't even close to love and we both knew it". Kwest clapped a hand on his back "Right we'll run Ally back to mine, I'll ask my neighbour to keep an eye on her then we'll come back and I'll sneak you past Sadie and the merry band of people who want to assassinate you".

Tommy shrugged his shoulders "Man you have every right to be one of those people who want me dead so why are you helping me?".

Kwest looked at him intently before asking him "You're my best friend and I know for a fact that, the girl lying up in that hospital bed needs you more than anything in this world". Tommy smiled and they headed to the car.

A few feet away there was an ugly red brick wall covered in graffiti that led into a rubbish strewn alley.

On the other side of this decrepit wall stood Portia who having heard everything that had been said was shaking with anger. "So you love Little Miss Punk Rocker more than me Tom" Portia flipped open her cell phone and heatedly began punching in a number "Hey It's me, It's time for Plan B".

She snapped the cell phone shut and stared up at the hospital "Your Prince Charming may have returned Jude but believe me you won't be getting a fairytale ending not if I have anything to do with it"

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Okay I know Portia is all sweetness and light in the show but I know she's a bitch underneath it all so I decided to write her the way I think she's gonna act in season three.

I just wanna thank everyone who has reviewed so far !!!!

They really mean a lot to me and they really help with the stress of exams and what not :D

And I'm open to suggestions for what to do in future chapters so please let your thoughts be heard !!!

I may not use your suggestions but I will take them into consideration !!!

BTW do you guys want me to do spoilers/promos at the end of every chapter ???

If you do please post in your reviews !!!!!


	7. A Rueful Rousing

Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills ETC,

I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics

Author's Note:- Hey Guys, A Merry and Belated Christmas, Really sorry that the update's so short but I've been enjoying not having to go to school and wallowing in my Christmas pressies (DOCTOR WHO DVDS !!!!! David Tennant HEAVEN !!!) so I haven't even been thinking about updating and I felt really bad about keeping you all waiting though I'm sure that you guys could survive if ya really had to LOL

Listen to me I'm babbling again, I tend to do that a lot …….

Enjoy !!!!!!!!

Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in **_bold italics _**

And lyrics have o0o's before and after them

Passages from Jude's journal are written in _italics_

**I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION**

**THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!**

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Kwest strode up the corridor leading to the ICU trying to act as nonchalant as he could since inside his intestines were wrapped around his windpipe with nerves 'If Sadie finds out what I'm doing she will slaughter me, Hell if **anyone** finds out what I'm doing I'll be dead'.

Kwest's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass and a ear-splitting shriek "HOW BLOODY LONG DOES IT TAKE TO ASSESS ONE FRIGGING TWITCH OF A HAND?!?!?!?!?". Kwest ran round the corner to see Sadie looking demented and in a homicidal frame of mind. Two orderlies were cleaning up a broken glass vase and a mess of red roses and water.

Kwest wrapped an arm around Sadie "Hey hey, calm down, what did the flowers ever do to you?". Sadie's eyes were brimming with tears "They made us wait outside nearly an hour ago, what is taking so bloody long?". Kwest had to think lightning fast "Right I think we all need to let off some steam so Jamie and Speed you can wheel throwey here down to the cafeteria and get her some ice cream to calm her nerves". Speed gave a half-hearted salute and he and Jamie veered a protesting Sadie down the corridor towards the hospital cafeteria.

Once they were out of sight, Kwest ducked into the room to see what the doctors were up to. Dr Carlson was scribbling something on Jude's notes but she looked up when she came in "Oh Mr …. ?". Kwest smiled "Call me Kwest". Dr Carlson nodded her head "Kwest we are taking Jude up for a brain scan in about 45 minutes to assess her brain activity further, I'm sure this will please her rather …. abrasive sister" Dr Carlson bit her lip "Oh I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said something derogatory like that, please forgive me it's been a long shift". Kwest held up his hand "Look doc you've survived the wrath of some of G Major's finest and bitchiest drama queens, your allowed to call Sadie abrasive".

Dr Carlson "Thank You" she went for the door but paused "My daughter loves Miss Harrison's music, I'd love to be able to phone her and tell her that I'm treating her all time favourite rock star and idol but it would break her heart if I went into detail" Kwest gave a small smile "Your daughter has good taste" "She doesn't just love her because she is a great singer, she says that she loves Jude Harrison because she inspires her to go for her dreams and tell all the Eden Taylors in the world that she's here to stay and they'd better get used to it"

Dr Carlson sighed "I'll go and arrange that scan now". As the door clicked shut Kwest pulled out his cell and was about to text Tommy when a voice floated out from behind him "You really don't want to be doing that". Kwest turned to see Portia emerging from the bathroom. "How long have you been in there? I've been looking for you everywhere!" demanded Kwest.

Portia chuckled coldly "You obviously were _preoccupied_ with other matters or you would have looked harder". There was something about her eyes that made Kwest feel uneasy "Yeah….well I was worried about Jude". Portia rolled her eyes "Ah yes ……..Jude". Portia went over to her beside and stroked her hair, this was seemingly caring but Kwest detected the hatred in her stare. Kwest cleared his throat causing Portia to look up "Darius was looking for you". Portia smiled chillingly "Okay I'll go find him". Her eyes never left Kwest's until she shut the door behind her.

Kwest shuddered and punched a few buttons on his cell and snapped it shut. Minutes later the door opened and Tommy edged in. Kwest threw him a glare "You better appreciate this, Sadie is going out of her mind and if she finds you here she might flip her lid altogether". Tommy smiled thankfully "I just need to say goodbye properly". "Look man, leaving isn't your only option, talk to Darius, see if he can calm Portia". Tommy shook his head not taking his eyes of Jude's tranquil form "Darius isn't an option, Portia will just do something…..stupid that will hurt Jude".

Kwest threw his hands up in the air "Jesus man it's just one goddamn secret after the other with you isn't it". Kwest swore vehemently "Look sort out your life man before you screw it up permanently okay, I'll be keeping a watch outside because honestly I don't want to die for you". Kwest ducked out the door. Tommy inhaled deeply before turning to look at Jude again.

He shakily sat down beside her. Tommy looked at her and the mess of machinery that she was hooked up to. Gone was the fifteen year old punk-rocker with an attitude that he had met two years ago. She had grown into a beautiful mature young woman. Tommy licked his lips and hesitated before taking her hand "Hey girl".

Tommy sighed "I'm so sorry Jude, I don't even know if you can hear me but I just wanted you to know that I never meant to hurt you, but I guess your pretty tired of hearing that from me, I know I'm tired as hell of saying it". Tommy's eyes filled up but he willed the tears not to fall has he clasped Jude's hand tightly "If I could, I'd stay and I'd make it up to you for all those times I broke your heart girl". The tears in his eyes were threatening to fall.

Tommy cleared his throat and said thickly "Look there is no one in this planet that I love more than you Jude Harrison, I have loved you since the day I first kissed you and I will always love you no matter what". Tommy stood up and wiped his eyes where a few tears had snaked out and bent down and kissed her on the forehead "I love you girl" he murmured before turning and walking to the door.

Just as he was about to turn the door-knob a hoarse voice spoke from behind him

"Tommy?"

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